**************************************************************************** ### # # ### ##### ## # # # ## ## # # ### ##### ## ### ### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #### ### # # # # # # # # # ## # #### ### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ### # ## # # # ## ## ## ### # # # # # ### ____________________________________________________________________________ # # ### #### # # #### # # ### #### ##### # # ##### #### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #### ### ### ##### # # #### ##### # # ##### ### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ### ### # # # # #### # # ### # # # ##### ##### #### *****NUMBERS 171 TO 175***********BY DANIEL BOWEN (tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu)***** "Backed-up Toxic Custard" //\\//\\ /\\// \\ // //\\// \/ // \\ // // \/ o x i c // u s t a r d \\ /\ // o r k s h o p //\\ i l e s \/ \\ \\ /\ // // \/Number 171\\//\\2/11/93 \\//\\//by Daniel Bowen// TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 4 DATABASE Developed in the early 1800's, by Rodney Database of Darlington, the database is a marvellously efficient way of putting large amounts of information into one central repository, never to be seen again. The design of the database is now an art form in itself, and will usually include: - just a dash of normalisation - a whole bunch of useless information - a whole bunch of fairly important information that no-one will ever actually ask to see - a whole bunch of very important information which will get unexpectedly lost when a hardware fault occurs (eg someone presses the wrong button) and the whole of your disk gets wiped / paper files get burnt / tape gets melted down into a large pudding, thrown out, buried in landfill and split in two during an earthquake DEATH Death is the ending of life. But do we really know what death involves? No, of course not, that's a stupid question. Only a completely brainless nerk with an intellect the size of an atom would ask a question like that. But in fact, I have recently experienced a near-death experience, when I went to Ballarat. On an Easter weekend. During an opera festival. (Okay, so it wasn't recently except maybe in a universal cosmic historically vague sense). DEVIL A popular character in mythology, commonly blamed by Christians for everything from plagues to burnt toast. Of course, if the devil ever actually appeared, it would scare these people shitless. DEWEY, MELVIL (1851-1931) American librarian who invented the Dewey Decimal system for categorising books in libraries. Unfortunately, he died long before the widespread use of computers, meaning that all the zillions of books on this subject have to be squashed into 001.64 DEBUSSY, CLAUDE ACHILLE (1862-1918) French composer/performer. His confrontational politics and total scorn for the status quo led many to believe that this pioneering hardcore performer was the only punk act to be on a par with the Sex Pistols. Debussy's frenetic rave-ups offer little more than a cluttered cacophony of speed and noise. DICKHEAD A close relative of the penis brain, dickheads can be found in all the major centres of the universe, doing really irritating and stupid things. The term "Dickhead" was coined by explorer Sir Jimmy Criquet, who had visited the island of Dikhedos, just off Greece. There lives a race of people who spend their entire days getting in people's way on footpaths, driving in tram lanes, writing articles for the Melbourne Agenda, raising money for the IRA and/or Ulster Freedom Fighters, voting in support of French Farmers, evicting people one week late with rent, etc etc etc. DICTIONARY A book, generally in alphabetical order, which lists the definitions of a number of words. It is often postulated that persons who are unfamiliar with the spellings of words should refer to dictionaries. This is of course bullshit, 'cos if you don't know how the word's spelt, how are you going to find it? The people that make this sort of suggestion are probably child-molesting Osmond fans who enjoy anal sex with kangaroos in the corridors of mental hospitals... I'm sorry. But it's been bothering me lately. DISCOUNT The art of making shoppers feel happier about having just bought something by letting them know that they didn't get as badly ripped-off as they would have if they'd bought it when the discount didn't apply. DONATION Often promoted as the best way of getting rid of your money while feeling good about it, donation in fact has the opposite effect. The vast majority feel awkward as they hand over the money, clumsily trying to avoid the $50 note in their pocket. A much better way to get rid of money while feeling good is to go out and by a whoppingly expensive consumer appliance. DULL Yes it is, isn't it. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "LOSING MY CONNECTION" REM / "STATEMENT" Oh disk, is smaller Smaller than you and you are not me The backups I will go to The distance between tapes Oh no I've filled the disk I filled it up That's me in the system That's me at the login Losing my connection Trying to stay logged in And I don't know if I can do it Oh no I've grepped too much Couldn't grep enough I thought that I heard deleting I thought that I heard you say I think I thought the files were safe Every print-out of every waking hour I'm dumping all my data Trying to keep my files on you Like a hurt lost and blinded LAN... LAN Oh no I saved too much I saved it all Consider this Consider this bug of the century Consider this the bug That brought DOS to its knees What if all these data dumps come spewing out And now I've printed too much I thought that I heard you printing I thought that I heard you swear I think I thought I saw you print That was just a ream That was just a ream That's me at the printer That's me in the print queue Losing all my source code Trying to keep coding And I don't know if I can do it Oh no I've saved too much I haven't saved enough I thought that I heard you PRUNEing I thought that I saw me save I think I thought I saw the files But that was just a dream File, line, byte, die That was just a dream Just a dream, dream ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And that's all until next week, when we return with "Winners of the 80's". We'll be profiling Ivor Fleming, who, while pissed on New Years Eve 1985, bet all his money and his house that the Space Shuttle would blow up in 1986. If you'd like to get your mitts on back-issues of the Toxic Custard Workshop Files, just reply to this message, or send email to tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1993 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, NTC Systems------| Any opinions expressed here have Telecom Australia, Melbourne---| resulted from accidental stimuli dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au-| in my brain, and are not necessarily TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu| those of Telecom Australia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Ecstatic Toxic Custard" ______ ___ ______________ ____________ __ ______ ______ / \ / __\ \ / \ _______/ | |___ |___ | / \ / / \ / \ \_____ | | | |___| | /___ ___\ / / \ / \ ___/ | | | | ___| | | / \____ \ /\ / \ \ | | | | |___ |__|oxic /______/ustard \/ \/orkshop \__\iles |__| |__|______| TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 5 EAT Eating is often advised for the hungry, and can often alleviate the problems caused by starvation. Many theorists and scientists have proposed that eating generally be limited to food. Civil libertarians have naturally attacked this as an infringement of the rights of the citizens to do really stupid things. In fact the Stupid Now! movement has held demonstrations in many major cities. Last week's demonstration here in Melbourne was estimated by Stupid Now! to be a crowd of twelve, although police estimated only two or three people attended. When confronted with the discrepancy, Stupid Now! admitted that they had counted an old lady with her shopping cart who had stopped to watch the street theatre, two kids running along the pavement parallel to the march, and a guy waiting for a bus. But they still maintained at least eight people had marched in "unity and oneness with the entire strength of the human voice". Yeah. What has this got to do with eating? Not much. ECONOMICS Economics is the study of the movements of imaginary monetary values around the place. The financial world of the 1990s relies on the whims of a bunch of stock-market analysts who enjoy bumping the dollar up and down for a laugh. No really, it's true. Last week one of them pressed the wrong button and bankrupted a moderately sized African country! But actually, the study of economics is all about supply and demand, import, export, GDP, GDT, GMT, and all that stuff. And then of course there's microeconomics, which is when you don't have very much money. EDISON, THOMAS ALVA (1847-1931) American inventor. Apparently he was expelled from school for being retarded. I wonder if the descendants of whoever made that decision have erased this person from their family tree out of embarrassment? Edison took out more than 1000 patents during his life, including the gramophone, the light bulb, and the megaphone. Amongst his lesser known inventions were the electrical powered nose cleaner, the inverse heat sensor wok, and the unfortunately flawed hand stapler. Mind you, three duds out of 1000 ain't bad. EGG An egg is an oval-shaped object commonly found in saucepans being boiled. And perhaps one of the most asked questions of the whole of humankind is "How does one time the boiling of one's egg?" Well, okay, it's probably not usually that pretentious. But it does remain an important and unanswered question, something which is not going to be solved by reading some pathetic little electronic journal churned out by some guy in Australia who thinks he's still at university. ELASTIC Long known for its stretchy qualities, elastic is related to rubber, which, should it manage to hold this joke together, can be used to mould various shapes. One of the recent movie hits used this to good effect, with giant rubber dinosaurs terrorising a bunch of rubber actors in an amusement park after breaking out of their elastic enclosures. "Elastic Park", that one was. Didn't really work, did it? Filled up eight lines though. ELECTRICITY Electricity is a marvellous discovery, enabling mankind to harness its power to generate huge fuel bills. ELTON, JOHN John Elton was born Harry Webb, and burst onto the music scene in 1963 after being "discovered" praying in the Cavern Pub, in Liverpool. His first major hit came in 1965 with "High Generation", in which he encouraged listeners to "blade away", a prediction of the rollerblade craze of the early 1990s. Elton's lyrics coupled with paint magnate Bernie Taubman's music continued to produce hits into the 1990s. By this time, however, the two had decided to give up on music, becoming caretakers, and the final album of their songs was a tribute by other artists, entitled "Two Brooms". END No, the end is down the bottom. The end can be defined as the final moments of existence of something. There is a healthy employment to be made in the prediction of the end of the world, especially at the moment, as the millennium freaks gear up for the big 2 triple zero. Stand-by for the raining frogs, boiling acid, Dante poems, etc. ENTITY A word far too cosmic sounding to be involved in systems analysis. EXTRA Well, that's like... extra, innit. More than what would have been if there hadn't been extra, if you see what I mean. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I was looking through the biographical dictionary looking for material, and it struck me what cool names people used to have, eg: John The Fearless, Peter The Cruel. Why can't people nowadays have names that describe their personalities or jobs... "Who comes hither, friend or foe?" "Tis I, Eric the Analyst!" "And who be this with thee, O Eric?" "Tis Kevin the Prat! We come in search of thy sales receipt ledger specifications!" "Then enter, friends! But beware of Daniel the Not Very Good Writer." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's the end of another Toxic Custard. Some of the back-issues are available by ftp. Send email to tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu for details ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1993 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, NTC Systems------| Any opinions expressed here have Telecom Australia, Melbourne---| resulted from freak activity in dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au-| my brain, and are not necessarily TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu| those of Telecom Australia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "F'd Toxic Custard" FIF N 1 3WRITT B WENFI E E WRI TTENBY NIEL WENFIF ENTHOF V BER1993WRITT BYDANIEL WENFIFT NTH OFNOVE ER19 WRITTE YDANIE O EENTHOF VEMBER19 WRI DAN IELBOW FIFT NTHOFN EM R1 3 ITTENBYDANIE OWENFIFT NTHOFNO MBE R1993W TTEN L E HOFNOVEMBER1 3WRITTEN D ENF TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 6 FACE The mass of skin, teeth and other parts that form the front section of the head. Faces can be arranged in any number of combinations, for differing reactions, such as horror, nausea, and laughter. Facial hair can be allowed to grow, principally by men who: - want to look like folk-singers - make up for the lack of hair on the rest of their head - just can't be bothered shaving. The increasingly popular "goatee" beard still looks really silly to me, I'm afraid. The remainder of the face is generally made up of two eyes, a mouth, and a nose. Someone should tell the people who make Lego. FALL To drop in altitude rapidly. Audible responses to sudden falling should be made as follows: IN THE FIELD OF RESPONSE ----------------- ---------------------------------------- Mountain climbing Oh shit, I'm going to die Aeronautics Oh shit, we're all going to die Stockmarket Oh shit, we're all going to have heavily reduced equity FAT Research has now shown that Fat is actually an alien life-form that travels the galaxy, looking for other beings to attach itself to. Fat beings first arrived on Earth in the late 1960s, attracted by signals sent into space by the Graceland Observatory in the US. Fat beings are now found in most areas of the world, but mostly attached to Maggie Tabberrer. There are theories that the dispersion of Fat beings from one's body may be achieved by performing diet and exercise rituals, but this is pure speculation. FARTBOROUGH, LORD (1783-1827) English statesman. He lived all his life at Fartborough Hall, in Essex. Fartborough is best remembered for his resounding posterior evacuations, from which the most obvious word is coined. Their resonation with the brickwork of Fartborough Hall eventually caused its collapse, burying Lord Fartborough at last with his revolting odour. FINE Term used by weathermen when they don't really know what it's going to be like. Of course, if the rest of us made as many mistakes in our jobs as weathermen do in theirs, the entire world would be a disaster area. "Well guv, I expect if we use this plastic pretend bolt to hold up this building, the structure will be FINE with possible later collapse on Thursday." FIRE Red and/or yellow hot thing. Don't touch. FIVE The fifth number, except for computer people, who always seem to count from zero. The number five was first conquered in the sixth century BC by Pythagorus, who was taking time off on his theorem to enter a counting competition. He came first, breaking the world counting record of the time, and subsequently appeared in the Ginthorus Book Of Records. FREUD, SIGMUND (1856-1939) Austrian gynaecologist and founder of psychoanalysis. And a down-right pervvy. FRICK, MR The most unfortunate name for a school teacher in the universe. FUCK You've just been waiting for this definition, haven't you. Here is how to use the word 'fuck' in almost any conversation. NORMAL EXPRESSION FUCKING EXPRESSION --------------------- ------------------ I am surprised Well, fuck me Please go away quickly Fuck off My condition is one of fatigue I'm fucked You seem to have made an error of judgement You fucked up Stop engaging in frivolous activities Stop fucking about He is a person of below average intellect What a dumb fucker That option is not a suitable choice Fuck that I have not made significant progress I've done fuck all PHOENIX This shouldn't be in here. It just sounds like it starts with an F. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A quick moment of reflection. .noitcelfer fo tnemom kciuq A Have you ever wondered why we're here? What are we doing? And where are we going? If you have, and God knows, most of us feel pretty existential at times, then why not consider a trip to the Most Holy Church Warehouse Of The Prophet Fred. Fred is not just your average priest. He can and will provide a full range of ecumenical services at BELOW COST! Direct from the Lord to you!(*) All this week, if you quote this ad, you'll receive seven sins for the price of five! And a free tenth commandment with every nine! Trade in your old Testament on a shiny new one! These miracles can't last, so ride your camel, walk on water, however you get here, just rush down to the Most Holy Church Warehouse Of The Prophet Fred. MOST HOLY CHURCH WAREHOUSE OF THE PROPHET FRED "Beware ye the Bargain Basement of Beelzebub" (*) via Fred ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unfortunately, that was another Toxic Custard. And even worse, there'll be another one next week. But worst of all, you can get back-issues! Oh God no! Send email to tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu for details ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1993 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, NTC Systems------| Any opinions expressed here have Telecom Australia, Melbourne---| resulted from random keystrokes into dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au-| a keyboard, and are not necessarily TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu| those of Telecom Australia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Assassinated Toxic Custard" _ _ _ _ /|\ / |_> | \ \ /\ / / Number 174, already?! |oxic | ustard | \ook | |epository / / \/ by Daniel Bowen | \_ |_/ |_/ \ / / 22nd November 1993 ----------------------------------------------- Hey, keep that insect away from my chocolate! TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 7 GARDEN The garden is where all the nasty bugs and insects that you see on those wildlife documentaries are. A succession of features on spiders, ants, bees and wasps, all filmed using really expensive lenses, have left me scared shitless of the slightest bit of greenery. I've even been giving the plastic Christmas tree some funny looks. Are those sparkly things meant to be on it? Tinsel, eh? What genus is that? I'm not sure why David Attenborough et al are convinced that we need to see a giant 17 inch Huntsman crawling across our screen to devour another garden inhabitant. Lucky we haven't got a bigger telly. And why do those programmes always concentrate on only two events in the species' day? Humping and eating. Don't they get to do anything else? Imagine what would happen in a documentary about humans. All we get to see is your average human eating Maccas, doing the mating dance in the nightclub, followed by the quick grope back at his place. It wouldn't exactly cover the full gamut of human existence, would it? GAS What liquid turns into if you boil it. The basis for Kernigan's Third Law. Kernigan's Five Laws of children's science TV programmes are as follows: 1) Dried ice is interesting 2) An egg can fit through a milkbottle 3) Steam looks good and is cheap to make 4) Mirrors never fail to delight 5) Magnets the compass maketh GENERATION, OLDER The people that don't understand you. GENERATION, YOUNGER The people that you don't understand. GENITALS The bits of the body that are used specifically for rude purposes. They come in varying shapes and sizes, and are used in varying ways. Please don't expect a detailed biological examination of these most enormously complex body parts, or even a cheap joke about the size of penises. However, as a tribute to the late, great, Mario Innuendo, from here, we will substitute the word "the" with the word "penis" in capital letters for the remainder of this TCWF. Nah, on second thoughts... GERM Another of those tiny tiny organisms that you can't see, and often wonder if they haven't just been made up by scientists to hold together the fabric of society. Rumour has it that germs were simply designed to get you to wash your hands after going to the lav, to keep soap manufacturers in business. GLASS Container which shatters at the most inconvenient and unexpected moments. Glasses are known to have properties that cause them to throw themselves out of people's hands. Glasses are also specially designed not to bounce. On anything. GOAT A horned beast, known to cross troll-infested bridges in packs of three. Goats are unable to eat flowers, lest they explode. The goats, I mean. It'd be pretty silly if flowers exploded. Then they couldn't have florists. They'd become explosists. "Anywhere in the world, send a message to show you hate. Intexploder." GOLDFISH Small orange coloured fish designed to fit easily into cat's claws. GOOD The opposite of bad. Just down the road from nice. Around the corner from great. A world away from nasty. And simply not related to flowerpot. GRASSY KNOLL It's so lucky that someone happened to be filming when JFK got shot. Ever since then, they've made sure that there is a camera trained on the President 24 hours a day. Which is why we always see Bill Clinton jogging, eating McDonalds, etc. About the only thing we don't get to see him doing is having a crap in the White House Out House. GREATBIGOSAURUS Last of the great dinosaurs, the Greatbigosaurus became extinct just last week, when it got run down by a film-crew on its way to film a Traffic Accident Commission commercial. Well, come on, if you were 65 million years old, you'd be a little slow crossing the street too. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Another Custard is come and gone So now it's time to soldier on Stop reading for another week Else you'll look like a complete geek Old Custards they are still around But not to be found on the ground There's plenty more for you to see All you do is f t p Want to know where to ftp to? Then just mail tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1993 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, NTC Systems------| Any opinions expressed here Telecom Australia, Melbourne---| have resulted from atmospheric dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au-| disturbance, and are not necessarily TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu| those of Telecom Australia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Hated Toxic Custard" --------> ------> --> --> -------> --> ------> -------> ToxicCu --> --> --> --> --> --> --> --> stardWor --> --> --> --> --> -----> --> --> -----> kshopFile --> --> --> --> --> --> --> --> --> s175,29thN --> ------> ----------> --> --> --> ------> ovember1993 TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 8 HAGGIS A Scottish dish made of the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep, chopped up with suet, onions, oatmeal etc, seasoned and boiled in a sheep's stomach-bag or substitute. I think I'm going to be sick. Have you ever considered the argument that vomit is a lifeform in itself, subject to the same foibles as the rest of lifekind? Pretty stupid idea, huh? Well, I thought so too, until I was convinced by a most holy and devout man, shouting very loudly in the street one day. He told me that vomit was food that was reborn. He gave me a leaflet about it, and - do you know - it changed my life. Suddenly, I could look at vomit the way I had never looked at vomit before. It became part of me. I could talk to it, express myself to it, and before long, take it for picnics in the forest. And the vomit would talk back. It would read me poems. It would sing songs about regurgitation. And it would tell me jokes. Very bad jokes. It would tell me jokes with incredibly bad punch lines. And I eventually came to a conclusion. That vomit is sick. HAIL Like rain, but harder. Meteorologists have conducted studies about the weather patterns relating to hail, and the likely occurrence of it, and have concluded that it is most likely to hail when you are walking down the street without even an umbrella for protection. HAMMER A tool for hurting fingers. Hammers are generally made of a specially magnetised metal that is naturally attracted to skin. HANDKERCHIEF A piece of cloth designed specifically to be filled with snot. Which must rather irritate it. I mean, I'm sure that you'd be pretty pissed off if you had only come into existence to be wiped on people's noses. I know I'd be annoyed if people left bogies on me. Which is why hankies are fighting back: They endeavour not to be in your pocket when you are suffering a sneezing attack. HAREOKE Japanese tradition. The practice of singing a song very badly in front of lots of people, then killing yourself out of embarrassment. HARVEY SMITH The gesture made by the more careless visiting American presidents to Australians. (Honest.) HATE To dislike something immensely. If you would are interested in hate, and would like to take it up as a hobby, contact the Hate Everything League. They hold regular meetings at Hate Hall, where members read odes to Barry Manilow, sing songs about Volvo Drivers, rip Cobol source-code print-outs to shreds, and burn effigies of software company support line operators. HISTORY Look, there's no point dwelling on the past, okay? What's done is done. It's much better left forgotten. No-one wants to know about adolescent foolishness these days, do they? Just leads to embarrassment in later life. After all, the damage wasn't all that bad, and the RSPCA said they wouldn't press charges. So just forget it. (And actually, I reckon the hippopotamus kinda liked it.) HOLY Something containing a lot of holes, such as the Bible. I'M going to get struck down for that one, aren't I? Or at the very least, lose both the remaining Christian subscribers. HONESTY Honesty cannot be undervalued. And while I'm on the subject of honesty, have I told you about an exciting business opportunity that could make you thousands of dollars without hard work or expensive capital investment? Yes, bank robbery is an exciting new idea, and you could be one of the first to buy an exclusive franchise in your area. For just $30,000, we'll provide a fully detailed instruction manual on how to do a bank robbery. Ring today and we'll include two luxury pure wool dry-cleanable balaclavas, perfect for those anonymous jobs when you just don't want to be identified on the News. HORSE I begin to seriously doubt the viability of a dictionary that defines "horse" as "a soft-hoofed ungulate." A horse is actually any four legged creature in a Western movie. Except a cow. The horse's major contribution to mankind has been shit. Such was the level of horse shit production late last century that measures were taken to centralise its disposal. For the last hundred years, all the horse shit in Australia has been taken to one place for burial: Dubbo, the shithole of Australia. HUMAN The human being either evolved from the biologically very similar ape, or was created along with the rest of the world in a six-day creative spurt by an anonymous god. The human body is a wonderful thing. Well, most of them are. Humans have one mouth and a limited number of genitals, which is probably just as well. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Toxic Custard is all tired now, and won't be seen until next week. But in the meantime, you can enjoy Toxic Custard back-issues, should your brain be inclined to do so. Just email tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu for details ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1993 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, NTC Systems------| Any opinions expressed here are the Telecom Australia, Melbourne---| result of alien life-forms in my dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au-| brain, and are not necessarily TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu| those of Telecom Australia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ the Toxic Custard Workshop Files by Daniel Bowen, Melbourne, Australia Copyright (c) 1993, 1994 Daniel Bowen. May be freely distributed without profit provided this notice remains intact. For subscription information, contact tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu