Santa - the Toxic Custard Interview
|Yes folks, this time we've managed to track down that elusive man of the moment, Mr
Santa Claus. We looked up Claus in the phonebook, and we found... S. M. Claus of
Cheltenham, Victoria. Bet you never knew he lived downunder, eh? Anyway, we gave him a
buzz and asked if he was Santa Claus, and he said "No! Bugger off, I'm just a distant
cousin." But before he hung up in disgust, he did give us the right number. So, we
made sure we were signed up with the Telecom North Pole Flexiplan, and gave him a ring.
And here's what happened.
GOOD MORNING. CLAUS ENTERPRISES, YOU WANT 'EM, WE GIVE 'EM.
- Good morning. Is that Santa Claus?
NO, THIS IS CHIEF ELF FRED SPEAKING.
- Ah. Is Santa there please?
ERM.. I'LL JUST SEE. SHALL I SAY WHO'S CALLING?
- Just tell him it's Toxic Custard
SANTA! A MR. CUSTARD FOR YOU!... HE'S JUST COMING.
- Thank you.
YO, SANTA HERE. HOW YOU DOIN', MAN?
- Good morning Santa. Sorry to bother you at such an obviously busy time, but we were wondering if we could interview.
WHAT IS UP MAN? YOU WANT TO WISH FOR SANTA TO BRING YOU SOMETIN'? YOU GO THROUGH MY REQUESTS SECRETARY, PLEASE.
- No no, we actually wanted to know how you got the job.
WELL, I SAW THE POST ADVERTISED, AND I APPLIED, YOU KNOW? IT ISN'T OFTEN THAT SOMETHING THIS PROMISING COMES ALONG. NICE LODGINGS... COMPANY SLEIGH... THE CHANCE TO HHHHHHHO YOUR HEAD OFF... AND THE JOB ONLY TAKES ONE MONTH A YEAR. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR? NOW WHAT YOU DAMN CHILDREN WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? YOU WANT A NEW GHETTO-BLASTER? I GOT SOME LOVELY WEED HERE FOR YOU, MAN.
A Toxic Custard Christmas