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Toxic Custard Workshop Files Dictionary Of Computing

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


ICON

A small picture displayed on a computer, which is designed to stop you worrying about trying to remember how a command is written or what it does, and instead worry about what the icon represents.


INFOBAHN

Phrase used by people who think they are too cool to use the phrase "Information Superhighway".

See also: infobahn


INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY

(i) A phrase that the media use to capture the general public's attention and get them excited about something that noone really knows what it's going to be, when and if it ever happens.

(ii) The most common two words on any TV or radio technology program.


INSTALLATION

The process of preparing a piece of hardware or software so that it will work with your computer.

In the case of hardware, it invariably involves pulling the lid off the computer (only to find it doesn't have a lid, and you've just snapped the case in two), followed by rummaging around with a fair bit of guess work to ensure that everything gets plugged in the right place (which it isn't). With luck and a quick sacrifice to the deity of your choice (St IEEE, the patron saint of computer leads, is a good one) that's all you need to do. This process is known as Plug And Pray.

Software is much easier. In fact, 97% of people find it's far easier to install software into your computer than to remove it.

See also: hardware


INTERNET

The Internet is a global network of porn merchants who at the press of a button will bring X-rated pornographic material into your living-room while your grandmother is visiting. To run it, you need a 50,000 Mhz Cray Y-MP with 512 terrabytes of RAM, an ISDN link capable of supporting 40,000,000 bps, and a CGA (or higher) monitor.

See also: RAM


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Toxic Custard Workshop Files Computing

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