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TCWF Toxic Custarpedia

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Another of those words which is very good an being fairly anonymous in its description of anything, and not actually meaning very much. Generally most useful when you want to describe something, but are unaware what the fuck it is.

About as useful as "The definite article", which is not only stupid enough to be a definition which includes the word it's trying to define, but also includes the word "article", which means the same thing as object, yet nobody knows what it is. Which is pretty vague for something which is supposed to be "definite".


The same as "Object", but for the French and/or pretentious.


A large body of water between countries, which is probably the biggest peace-keeper in the world, preventing more countries from being permanently at each others' throats.

Readers are advised when crossing oceans to always look both ways, and never walk on the water unless you are Christ. (Yeah look, I don't want to gloat or anything, but I did recently get a TCWF subscription request from a jc@heaven.rel)

Once again, I apologise to any Christians reading this. (Of course, if I really cared, I wouldn't have written the last paragraph, would I.)


Eight-legged sea creature that I just can't bring myself to eat. Even when I have the advantage over it that it's dead and I'm alive. And hungry. And sitting in a restaurant being offered food to eat.

See also: Order


Odd things that you don't want people find in your house include:

- that dead insurance salesman that you lost your rag at and buried under the stairs

- the New Kids On The Block records that someone bought you as a joke

- the fungus that is growing all over one side of the shower

- all those Readers Digest metal tokens that you decided to keep because "they looked nice" when you opened the envelope just after downing forty-three consecutive stubbies

- the (now dead) cat buried in the sofa that's been missing for three months, and which gives the livingroom that special aroma


For centuries now, Opera has been the foremost method of humiliation available to the security forces. It began in the late 1600s, when peasant rebels were made to dress up as ridiculously fat people and get up on wooden planks in front of hundreds of their peers and shout the same things over and over and over, to a musical accompaniment.

By the time the French Revolution came rolling along, it was the aristocrats who were forced to the stage to sing, gesticulate wildly and loudly perform plays devised to spread Revolutionary propaganda.

Nowadays, Opera has been driven underground, but is still carried out by the perverse, the deviant, and those with very big tits (both men and women), their audiences made up almost exclusively of establishment figures.


The process of telling the waiter what you would like to eat, preferably a choice from that on the menu. Following the ordering process, you will make a note of everything that they forget to bring you, and finally find the courage to kick up a stink when the meal's over and everyone's leaving. The procedure then is for the restaurant to fall over themselves trying to make it up for you, by offering a free X (insert your forgotten choice here) even though you're not hungry, you're leaving now, and you didn't order X anyway, you ordered Y.


A thoroughly useful substance to the vast majority of us. Without oxygen, we would die, and then life wouldn't be worth living. Which is irrelevant because we would be dead. And yet what would life be without life itself? A void of nothingness to be pondered by theologians. And yet without life there would be no theologians to ponder it... so I guess it wouldn't be quite so bad.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Appendices

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