Toxic Custard Workshop Files The Adventures of Ron and Jeff

15: Anzac Day

RON: How was your Anzac Day?

JEFF: It was hard.

RON: Yeah, taking a day off. I didn't know what to do.

JEFF: But you don't work anyway.

RON: Yeah, but all the shops were closed.

JEFF: But you never buy anything at the shops because you never have any money.

RON: Yeah but I like to browse.

JEFF: I bet the shop keepers think it's their lucky day when you shuffle in.

RON: Are you saying I look like a slob?

JEFF: Yep.

RON: I resent that.

JEFF: It's true though, isn't it.

RON: Well yeah, okay, so it's true. So what?

JEFF: Anyway. Anzac Day. The mud, the dirt and the grime, under a blood red sky...

RON: What, you did gardening?

JEFF: I'm not talking about the gardening. I'm talking about the reason we have Anzac Day. The suffering and bravery of the diggers.

RON: What, on the construction site?

JEFF: World War One, you imbecile. Picture it. As dawn breaks, soldiers wade onto the beach at Gallipoli, and rush at the enemy trenches. Their guns not even loaded but they capture the beach, and work their way up the cliffs. And through all the suffering on both sides, a legend is born.

RON: So you didn't do gardening then?

JEFF: Well yes I did actually. Didn't you notice me slaving away in the garden?

RON: What garden?

JEFF: Our garden.

RON: That's not a garden.

JEFF: Well, no, it's not a garden as such. Not in the conventional sense. More a pile of dirt in front of our humble abode. But didn't you notice me gardening?

RON: Oh. No, I was watching TV.

JEFF: Figures I suppose. And what did you learn while watching TV? Some factoids you can bore people to death with? Or something useful that you can apply to every day life?

RON: If you must know, I learnt something about gardening.

JEFF: Oh yeah? What?

RON: I'm not sure I want to tell you now. You'll only criticise it as being something amazingly inconsequential that you knew along.

JEFF: C'mon, I can do with all the help I can get. Spit it out.

RON: Sure?

JEFF: Sure.

RON: Okay. It's to do with vermin.

JEFF: Vermin?

RON: Rabbits.

JEFF: Okay. I haven't spotted any rabbits in our pile of dirt, but maybe it's something I can store away for future reference. Lay it on me.

RON: Okay... Well, apparently, no matter how hard that Elmer Fudd guy tries, he never manages to catch Bugs Bunny.

14: Christmas That's all for now...

TCWF - Ron & Jeff